after some odd days of moving and waiting to access the internet I have finally come back to my second home on the world wide web.

The past days have been pretty boring due to mass amounts of time with nothing to do (school starts on Monday) save the times when I sat down to read or spend some time with my room mate. None of my friends have come to visit yet but next weekend Diana will probably come over! Good times.

Last night I nearly wasted my time going to a drinking college party and I constantly beat myself for even thinking about going. I felt rediculous because while my friends envited themselves in I took notice that everyone was drunk, turned around and walked away. I should have known from the beginning that there would be alcohol but it never occured to me since I am so amazingly stupid at times.

Not that I shun drinking, however I will never waste my time attending a party where nearly everyone's sole motive is to get drunk. The notion of not being able to have full control of my brain scares me and I try not to be around those who choose to be in an irrational state of being--under the influence.

Monday classes start. Speech is my first class of the day so I am looking forward to it...going back to school in general will be such a releif...

Currently Reading A Durable Peace: Israel and Its Place Among the Nations By Benjamin Netanyahu, Binyamin Netanyahu see related

Everything has been going very wrong lately.

The last thing I have ever wanted was to be kicked into the dust the day before college move in. I'll put up with it.

I am running out of ways to clear my head. I will probably just try to continue reading A Durable  Peace by Benjamin Netanyahu. Although I havn't gotten past the first chapter it is a good read so far. Talented writing always puts me in a better mood.

I am currently packing. Not only because I need to pack (move in is in three more days), yet because the feeling has become a bit more realistic as I fill in empty boxes with my paraphernalia.

Yesterday I was bit in the neck by some unkown insect...or at least I thought it unknown from the fact that I have never felt anything sting so much as this in my life. The sting wouldn't go away and I anticipated something to happen soon afterwards (like passing out, fatigue, etc.). It sounds unreasonable, but the mind tends to run away with ideas. This time I thought about a situation, similar to Jumanji where the girl gets bitten by an exotic flower and faints, and thus I awaited to fall to the the floor as well--unconcios. But of course it never happened.

Now lets see if this old clock I found really works when I replace the battery....

I think I know when I have gone absolutely crazy. Lately I have been so into cycling that every song I listen to I start planning a routine in my mind. It has become part of my subconscious. I talked to one of my cycling instructors the other day and she says that one day she will let me teach a song. I want to take a certification class so badly! I have already researched two potential places I can do it at--not to mention that the school's recreation center can certify as well.

Speaking of school, a good friend and I went to State's campus to walk around. It wasn't as long of a walk in the city as we expected. I felt less uneasy as we made the trip from building to building, however this one homeless man started asking us for money and then I began to freak out. I don't know what I would have done if I was by myself! I'm not used to situations where beggers confront me.

I just don't understand the existance of a beggar. If they have to demean themselves by standing on the street and asking for handouts, why even bother living? How could a human being degrade his or her existance? How could anyone accept the state of pure worthlessness?

I don't want to discuss this anymore. It makes me sick.